The Perfect Punishment
by LuxaLovesLawnmowers
Summary: The biggest troublemakers of Akatsuki orphanage end up, once again, in the hands of the police. What's a copy-nin to do? AU, Rated for language


Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

Just a little oneshot I wrote. Enjoy! :) It's an AU where they're in a real-world version of Konoha, and the Akatsuki is an orphanage. :)

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"Let me go, dammit! I have diplomatic immunity, you bastards! Let me go!"

The Konoha Police Force gave a collective sigh as Sasuke stormily dragged Hidan in through the front doors, closely followed by Sakura and Deidara, who was quieter only because he was ogling Sakura's ass.

"Dude!" yelled Deidara, breaking his silence. "You're from the USA! You don't have diplomatic immunity!"

"Shut up, they don't know that!" barked Hidan.

Sakura barely resisted the urge to slam her fist into Hidan's face. "Of course we know that, you idiot. You're the worst repeat offenders we have."

Hidan's face broke into a grin. "Didja hear that, Deidara? We're the worst!"

Deidara attempted to give him a high five. Sadly for them, they were restrained by their handcuffs and the annoyed officers dragging them.

Izumo and Kotetsu, who were manning the front desk, got up for their coffee break ten minutes earlier than usual. Everyone else likewise scurried out of the room, leaving Sakura and Sasuke stuck with the teens.

Ibiki poked his head out of a door in the corridor and Sakura grinned. "Ibiki, take these morons away before I blow their heads off."

"I'd love that." muttered Deidara. Sasuke glared at him.

Ibiki grinned back at Sakura, his scars stretching. "Sorry. I can't. I've got that serial killer to talk to. Your loss." He slammed the door gleefully, leaving a fuming Sakura behind.

"There is no way I'm going to be the one responsible for these idiots." fumed Sakura.

"We could dump them on Naruto." suggested Sasuke hopefully.

Deidara whistled. "That's a great idea! Last time he took us out for ramen and made Tenzo pay!"

Sasuke raised his eyebrows. "Why is he on a first name basis with our officers?"

"Ask Naruto." replied Sakura moodily.

Kakashi entered the room, late as usual, saw Sakura's crazed look, and attempted to walk back out. Sakura ran up to him and dragged her superior forward, something that most people think twice about doing. "You owe me, Kakashi. I took that call about the crazy cat lady for you last week."

Kakashi eyed Hidan, who was flicking off everyone Sasuke and Deidara with both hands. The teen looked like a mess, with his clothes covered in spray paint. Deidara was the same, and Kakashi dreaded the answer as to why.

"I don't know if these are on the same level." he said hesitantly, not wanting to anger Sakura.

It was too late- Sakura and Sasuke had already gone, leaving him with Hidan and Deidara. Sighing, he picked up Deidara by the handcuff. "Hey, Hidan, get your ass up here. I'm not dragging both of you."

"Fucking make me!"

"I guess I _could _leave you there…if you want to suffer the wrath of Tsunade."

Both the boys gave a little shriek of horror. The last time they'd suffered the wrath of Tsunade they'd spent half a week being cared for by Konan in the orphanage.

"So…are you coming?"

The boys jumped to their feet, following the lazy stride of Kakashi.

"We didn't fucking do anything!" yelled Hidan, just to make a point. Kakashi rolled his eyes-well, eye, since he'd lost the other one years ago- and shook his head.

"We're not stupid. All I want to know is what you kids did to get yourself here."

"I'd like to know how you lost your eye." snorted Deidara.

"Freak pony accident. Your turn."

"Tell the truth!" pouted Deidara, who was now having a cat fight with Hidan, despite being handcuffed. They entered Kakashi's office, which was incredibly messy, porn peeking out from under paperwork. He shot Hidan a warning look when he tried to steal some, who gave him a weird cross-eyed grin in return. Kakashi plopped down on at his desk and stared at them from across it with his one eye. Needless to say, it was very disconcerting.

"You tell the truth."

"Hidan started it, un!"

"Not fucking close to true!"

"Oh yeah? You're the one who said spray-painting a cop car was a good idea!"

"Fuck yeah, it was, except you got us fucking caught, you fucking bastard!"

"You're the one who was screaming like a maniac!"

"You set off the fucking fireworks!"

"Ha, I hope you get stuck in jail and I get your room so I can practice making bombs!"

"No fucking way! I want your room so I can make it a shrine to Jashinism!"

"I'll blow you up!"

"I'll cut off your head!"

At this point the boys had managed to get into a full out brawl despite being handcuffed. Kakashi was nearly face-palming in frustration. "You two spray-painted a cop car?"

Deidara laughed. "More like several cop cars."

"And that son of a bitch dog that tried to attack me."

"You _did _use the red paint on its owner."

"Hey, its teeth were fucking huge!" protested Hidan. "Give me a break for macing it in the eyes."

"Idiot, you need mace to do that, hmm…You just sprayed it. I feel bad for the owner, un, he'll spend the next week cleaning up that hound."

Kakashi massaged his temples, wondering if he coming migraine would be helped if he threw the kids in jail.

"Ok…you spray painted cop cars. And what do you expect to happen to you now?"

Hidan grinned cheekily. "I expect Konan to pick us up, scold us, take us back to the orphanage, Pain to open his wallet and pay the damages, talk to his lawyers and get us off scot-free."

Kakashi groaned. That was most likely what would happen. In fact, why was he even doing this? He'd get Tenzo to wash off the cars and all would be good until Deidara blew something up again. With that train of thought, he got up and left the room without another word.

Hidan and Deidara looked at each other, shocked. Even handcuffed, they could get up to a lot of mischief on their own in the police HQ. Maniacal grins crossed their faces, only to be stopped by a booming laugh.

"Hello, young children in need of learning discipline. It is I, Might Guy, here to give you a lesson in love, life and youthfulness! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The boys were horrified. Leave it to Kakashi Hatake to find the perfect punishment.

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I'm more evil than them...heh heh. :) Review!


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